Lust on the Side

to love and be loved is a luxury

To love and be loved is a luxury
only you can afford
and maybe I can't.
Maybe I have to accept that
and here I go.

Loving and being loved is a luxury
that you buy with your charm
your suit jackets and beat-up shoes.
I want you, I loved you 
(maybe I still do)
at one point I guess you wanted me too
but not enough.

And here you've gone
finding a love to come home to at night
but still you satisfy your lust on the side.
And here at one point you told me 
you wanted to earn my trust
that you weren't just looking for something cheap and easy
and I thought you meant it
and I thought you were the man meant for me
only now I believe I was meant for nobody.
Maybe everybody secretly longs to have a family
maybe I dreamed of it at one point too
but being a mother was never for me
and having a love forever 
will prove to be too much for me.

And I know it should be too much for you too
but of course it won't be.
You'll weasel your way in, as you always do.
Find a love to hold onto forever
while you rent hookers and pick up girls at bars.
I raise my glass to you,
you really live the best of both worlds.

To love and be loved is a luxury
only you can afford
and maybe I can't.
Maybe I'll tell myself that my spirit is divine
that I might belong to everyone I pass by
but at night, they’ll all go home to their loves
while I fall asleep clutching a pillow tight to my chest
and I’ll tell myself I am liberated.